How To Say No When A Close Friend Asks For Money

Proverb no isn't piece of cake, simply it'south better than making the mistake of lending money to friends or family members. These tips on how to say no when someone asks to borrow money will assist y'all kindly, firmly, and gently decline their request.

"Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, hateful, or selfish," says Stephanie Lahart, writer of Overcoming Life's Obstacles: Enlighten – Encourage – Empower. "Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say yes all of the time clearly doesn't take your best interest at eye. Ever remember: You have a right to say no without having to explain yourself."

These tips for saying no when someone asks to borrow money are inspired by a reader. Here's her question: "I already lent my ex-swain almost $700 virtually half-dozen months agone," says Mariah on How to Deal With Money Stress Subsequently a Breakup. "He hasn't paid me back. The money he makes is non enough to pay his bills school loan, unexpectedly high utility bills, automobile payments, hire, supporting his parents, etc. He is now asking to borrow $5,000 to help him pay some of his debt so he can get adjusted and financially organized. I want to aid him even though we broke upwards, but he hasn't paid dorsum the other coin I lent him. How exercise I say no when he asks to infringe money?"

Sometimes the nigh obvious answer is the hardest: "No, I'm sorry, I can't lend you coin." Don't get in more than complicated than it needs to be. Don't allow guilt or emotional manipulation to pitter-patter into your decision. Below, I share a few more tips on how to say no when someone asks to borrow money – but I encourage you to get with the brusk, simple answer: "I'yard deplorable, but no. I tin can't lend you lot money." Yous might fifty-fifty add "….because I'g tapped out correct at present." And prepare to proceed repeating it to both yourself and the person request for money.

Here'due south a listing of reasons Mariah should say no to her ex-boyfriend's asking for money:

He already borrowed $700 from her, and can't pay information technology back.
She doesn't have a contract for the first $700 she lent him, so she'southward out of luck if he denies borrowing information technology, refuses to pay it back, or simply doesn't have the money.
Five m dollars is a huge corporeality of coin! It'south not $l to buy groceries, which near lenders can beget to lose.
In this example, lending him money is not a solution. It is a short-term rough-and-tumble that will not aid him in the long run.
Her gut feeling is telling her she should say no to her ex-boyfriend, but she feels guilty. She's letting him manipulate her.

Tips for Saying No When Someone Asks to Borrow Money

One reason I believe money should almost always exist kept carve up from relationships is because I watched Approximate Marilyn Milian for years. She adjudicated (judged) cases every day that involved ex-partners suing each other over loans that weren't paid back. The money wasn't repaid for a variety of valid reasons. Most often, information technology was because the borrower (mostly really overnice people with adept intentions!) simply didn't take the coin to repay the loan.

If you decide to say yep when someone asks to borrow coin from you, read How to Protect Yourself While Loaning Your Swain Money.

1. Repeat yourself firmly, kindly, and gently

"I'm sorry, but no. I can't lend you lot money because I just don't have enough to spare." Keep repeating that sentence; possibly add together a twist once in awhile: "My money is spoken for." You don't have to lie. Go on it unproblematic. "I can't afford to lend money."

Prepare yourself to repeat your words over and over. Don't embellish, lie, or add to them. Only say information technology again and again. Whether it's $l or $v,000 or $50,000 is irrelevant. Whether or non you accept the money doesn't thing! It is your money; you get to decide the best way to use it.

Other ways to say no when someone asks to infringe money:

Need encouragement?

"I wish I could help y'all out – and I love you – merely a $500 loand is not in my budget."
"I know how difficult information technology is for you to inquire to borrow money, and I'm honored that yous trust me with this. But I'one thousand sorry. I can't lend money to y'all."
"Ask Uncle John. He has lots of money."

When you lot're saying no, try not to fall into the trap of explaining yourself. It'south not a contend, argument, or discussion. All yous have to say is, "No, I tin't aid you with this."

Love does not mean you should say yes to everything that is asked of you. The key to saying no when someone asks to infringe money is to split up coin issues from your emotions. Don't let your friend or family member to guilt or emotionally manipulate you into lending coin.

ii. Offer to help in ways that don't involve borrowing or lending coin

What else tin can yous do to assist someone who wants to borrow coin? Instead of getting into a debate or statement about why yous can't loan friends or family unit members money, ask how yous tin aid in other means.

How to Say No When Someone Asks You for Money

There are other means to support someone in financial dire straits, depending on his situation. Some people need budgeting help, others need assist creating and sending out resumes.

The best style for Mariah to help her boyfriend is to help him find a fiscal planner, investment counselor, or some type of "coin mentor" who tin can aid him organize his income and expenditures. He needs a long-term solution to his money situation – not a short-term loan that volition create more financial problems in the long run.

3. Expect disappointment and even acrimony

The hardest function of maxim no when someone asks to borrow coin is the possibility of dissentious or even losing the relationship. Your friend or family member is struggling financially; it'southward hard to just let them suffer. They'll he disappointed, angry, and hurt when y'all say no. No affair how kind and gentle you are – how loving and nice – the fact is that hearing "no" is difficult.

Sometimes the hardest thing to exercise is the right matter. Sometimes, the fact that information technology's hard makes it right.

You want to support and love your friends and family members, but that doesn't necessarily mean lending coin when they enquire. In fact, lending money could prolong their fiscal problems and foreclose them from learning how to handle their finances wisely.

Instead of contributing to the person's financial mess, larn how to manage money together. Read and discuss Dave Ramsey'south financial makeover system, starting withThe Total Coin Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fit ness. It sounds kind of nerdy, only learning how to manage your coin together can be helpful for both of you.

Instead of lending money to someone who is having fiscal problems, acquire together how to manage finances.

Saying no to friends or family members asking to borrow money is hard, and the truth is you lot might non be able to say no without dissentious your human relationship. However, loaning them money is nigh guaranteed to damage the relationship. You'll too be financially poorer, at least for some time.

If you're a parent, read Should You Loan Money to Your Adult Children?

What practice you think? Feel free to share your thoughts – big and fiddling – below.

Source: https://www.theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-say-no-when-someone-asks-to-borrow-money-from-you/

Posted by: beckvauddeas.blogspot.com